The end..

Is a brand new year now...2009...

Times really fly..1 year juz gone in flash..2008 is a year that mean really alot to me..experience really alot during this year...learn alot during this year also...

Jan 2008 - Accompany my best buddy, chia ming until 16th. Started to stone after he is gone..frenz are all working and college.

Feb 2008 - STONE.

March 2008 - Went to Canada..alot of things happened...learned really alot abt life during this month..

April 2008 - Came back frm Canada. Worked in Wong Kok..really having alot of fun in Wong Kok..

May 2008 - Went for The One Academy intake. Study in TOA. Assignments

June 2008 - Assignments. Exploration week..Fallen in love..

July 2008 - Assignments. Heart broken in the ending of July...Got my driving license.

Aug 2008 - Assignments. Sem break..went cameron with janson, yeerick, kah yan, gavin, chun how.. p/s thx to chun how for the hospitality...

Sep 2008 - Assignments..but not so much assignments..Got myself into 19.

Oct 2008 - Assignments..

Nov 2008 - Assignments..yeerick went to Thailand..

Dec 2008 - Sem break..class seperated..went Port Dickson..really enjoy myself in the trip..it is the best trip i ever got myself into...thx mates..=) after P.D trip got myself into another trip with another group of frenz..Penang..eat really alot..x'mas, new year..

I cant..

I cant do it...

juz let me b the one who suffer then..

this is my final decision..

if u are happy then so am i...

Yes! u did it again...!!!

Yes! go and b a nice guy somemore!!! Goood!!!!! very good...juz who the fuck u think u are? LMAO!! 

being 烂好人all the time...juz fuck off and leave everyone alone la...

Is time to juz care abt urself...not the others.....

Everytime taking up all the problem and troubles up to urself...what do u get? Not even a piece of shit...and why are u keep doing all these? Juz who the hell u think u are? 

Juz making ppl around u worse and worse...! STFU and mind ur own buiness la retard honwai! 

对不起，谢谢你

这是一个写给你的部落格，也不知道你会不会看到。。但。。只想在此感谢你一直以来的陪伴和跟你说声对不起。。

想要放弃这段感情是纯粹我的问题，与你无关。。只因我做不到不求回报的付出。。

曾与你说过只要你的改变能让你自己更开心。。那么我都会支持你。。

那些不能接受的朋友都不是真正关心你的。。

如今却发现那些不能接受的便是我自己。。我无法毫无保留的付出。。。

我无法接受谎言了。。就数只是纯粹的玩笑。。。我无法接受。。。无法从你那儿接受。。。

毕竟。。你曾答应过不会欺骗我的。。。我自私了。。我不想再受到伤害了。。对不起。。。

如今，

我不会再叮咛你早点睡，

不会再叮咛你喝多点水，

不会再叮咛你照顾好自己的身体，

不会再告诉你多心了，

不会再问你还有心痛吗。。

不会再问你呼吸顺畅吗。。。

毕竟。。我的关心并不是你最想要到。。。

希望你能找到一个真真正正关心你的人吧。。。

感谢你在我最需要人的时候肯陪伴着我的身旁。。虽然每次都是我在烦着你。。。

如今不会再有人在你身边烦着你，不会再有人在你耳边再唠唠叨叨了。。。

再一次。。谢谢你的陪伴。。。对不起，我无法再这样的关心你了。。。

再见。。我最好的朋友。。。

24/12/2008

Wake up early in the morning, do some chating on msn...

11.30 went to redbox at curve...sing k alone...fallen in love with 蕭閎仁 的 "連貝多芬都想告訴你"..

first time that go sing k alone...the feeling is kinda weird...but is kinda fun also...can shout watever i wan to...=)

come back home at around 2 something, play the sims2...designed a new house for myself...kinda like it...

5something went and cut my hair...come back home and get ready myself for the coming party...

6something went and pick up sau hwa and head straight to esther condo...only 3 ppl is there only..I started the bbq fire...

8something went and fetch jarrel with kah yan..after all the jam and stuff..we finally reached damansara kim...then jarrel call back..."u coming to 1u to fetch me now?" I was like...."WTF?" =________=  "u are in 1u nvr tell me...i am going to ur house now la..."nvm....still went back and fetch him...on da way brought some sausage...

10something fetch alric back to his house to grab his car key...his key is stuck in the car...fetch him back to the condo and go in awhile...then come back out and hav some drinks with other frenz...went home and take a nap...2 something receive janson call...asking me to go his house. Wake my self up and go to janson house...played some card games and had some beers..

Felt hungry...wanted to go eat..but no1 wanna follow...go back home alone and sleep... merry x mas...! =)

Make up the mind...

I been confuse alot these days...

Confuse about love,

confuse about friends,

confuse about life...

Is time to cheer up and come back to alive...!

like what mei linn told me...

"dun think about other things, juz concentrate on ur study.."

Time to serious towards my own future now...

Upgrade myself..

and stop thinking abt other things...

Special thx to,

Mei linn, Kar leong, Zhi ling, Hong yi..

=)

Giving up...

Starting to realise...

What have u been caring wasn't me...

I am nothing to u actually...

I know there is someone else in ur heart...

But i tot at least i stand a space in ur heart also...

I was wrong...

Totally wrong...

What I said, ntg go into ur heart..

What u promise...come with a sorry...

I guess the care was force to do so...

Bcuz I am the one who always annoying u...

Even my caring toward u had started to annoyed u...

Should I even bother u anymore...

Should I still treat u as my best frenz...

Should I give up this relationship...

I am scared of getting hurt...

And i think i will be giving up this relationship...

Bye....

Old mates..

Haha...days after days...finally had made a small gathering...

Now...

Let the pictures tell...

Having a drink in Yipee Cup

Smile~~ 

Wei ru

Hong Yi

The guys *Me, Sau Hwa, Zhan Hong*

The girls *Wei ru, Esther, Hong yi*

Finally...the group photo and us...although not all our class member is able to turn out...

But...Its ad a rare chance for us to see each other like this...

Thx for attending the gathering...

=)

Kongkamness

I think i had lost my kongkamness...

Someone...

I really need someone...

someone to giv me back my kongkamness...

which myself duno who is the someone...

but...

i need someone...

or my kongkamness will b gone...

HELP??

lol...

KONGKAM TRIP!!!

Waiting Zhi Ling to help me blog this out...xD hahahaha...

Juz to make a clear copy..

I DUN LIKE CHAN MEI LINN!!!

WE ARE BUDDY!!!

WE ARE SISTER!!!

Kns....=____=

怀念

我怀念那一起画画的日子。。

我怀念那一起说笑的日子。。

我怀念那一起唱歌的日子。。

我怀念那一起kongkam的日子。。

我怀念那一起去pyramid的日子。。

我怀念那一起熬夜的日子。。

我怀念那一起赶工课的日子。。

我怀念那一起去玩的日子。。

我怀念那一起吹着酒瓶的日子。。

我怀念那一起戏水的日子。。

我怀念那一起笑的日子。。

我怀念那我们在一起的日子。。。

一个人的冬至。。。

人说。。

冬至， 吃汤圆。。。

吃了后，

就会长大一岁。。

我并不是个庆祝冬至的人，

今年的冬至，

自己一人过。。

家人都不在。。

好宁静阿。。。

我的汤圆呢？

哈哈。。。

Cool?

Here a pic of my self in history presentation...

Sorry for the late posting, i dun hav any pic la...!!!

p/s Thx zhan yang for the picture..=)

I am in love...

I had fall in love with the feeling of sober...

The feeling of dizzy...

The feeling of high...

The feeling of freedom...

I think i would prefer drunk than sober, but I havn't drunk b4, I cant tell...

Went to Port Dickson and Penang in a week,

Drink in both trip,

Frenz in the penang trip started to tell me that im drunk...am i? I still can walk in straight line..haha...maybe is juz bcuz i dun talk that much in this group of frenz.. I drink more in P.D leh...lol...

I miss P.D trip.....

19/12/08

I am down, I am sad..

I duno why, I duno how...

I am lost...I am confuse...

Anyone will be there to tell me what should i do? 

Anyone will be there to give me my right answer?

Anyone will be there juz because of me?

Leave ur name plz..=)

To all my dearest frenz who is reading my blog,  welcome to my blog.. please drop ur name here...at lease let me know who is reading my blog...k? =)

The feeling of leaving...

After the days after days, the day had finally arrive...

Is the time that we face it,

Is the time that we come across it,

Good bye and take care i should say,

The 3 days 2 nights Port dickson was really fun, thx guys... we had spend our time together for 6 months, it is not a long period but neither a short period too...I could proudly say that most of my time with u all are the good times that i had in my life. And now we had came to a spliting path, take care and move on to our own path with success!! Stay connected oh..must on our bluetooth all the time.... =) 

The day that blog been expose

Wanted to keep this blog as my dairy and keep it in private...

But then....

Seem like many had ad found out this blog, i guess is not nessesary to keep it as "private" anymore 

WELCOME TO MY BLOG...!

Sorry ru...

Suppose to blog this week ago,

Sorry ru...

Sorry for not putting my full trust on u...

Sorry for suspecting u lie to me...

Sorry for choosing the wrong person to put my trust on...

I know u wouldn't mind.. but in my heart...really....i feel bad...

How could i suspect u?

And once again, thx....ru.....for being by my side all along....

Love ya lots...

感觉

又是这种感觉。。

从内心最深处挖掘出的伤感。。

那足以令人痛哭一场的感伤。。

这一阵一阵的抽痛，仿佛正对着我说。。是时候放弃了。。。

我已厌倦了， 我也累了。。

想想。。其实近几年来自己真的改变了很多。。真的好多。。。

离别

不知不觉中已过了半年 ，在THE ONE ACADEMY 的生活真的很快，再多两个星期我们就要各奔东西了。虽然只是短短的六个月但在这么繁忙工作量的College里，彼此间的慰问与支持已变成了生活中不可或缺的东西了。

两个星期真的好快，我好讨厌这种感觉。。。这离别的感觉。。。其实在这班里找到几个不错的朋友。。。但是却要在两个星期后便和他们分离。。。真的好不舍得。。。但这便是人生。。。离离聚聚。。。

真希望能如你们所说的那般。。。我若能如你们说的一样幼稚那该有多好？那么就不会有这么多的忧愁了。。。

FED UP

I have ad fed up....

Fed up with everything...

How long it hav been since the last time i really smile from the bottom of my heart? 

How long hav it been since the last time i cried? 

Tear rolling on the eye, i hav used to be endure...this time, i release...

Love?

I barely see any in this world...

Life?

Everything is juz a illusion.. i had ad lose my point of living...

My life is meaningless...i dun even know what is the point of my life...i had fed up by giving my self hope... a person that dun even have anything to expect on....how sad it could be?

I am alone....all alone.... no one could understand my feelings....no one can giv me the answer of my question....I am....all alone.....

Heart bcome more and more pain while each day pass, putting up the mask...to cover my sorrow....I hav used to fake...i hav used to endure....this is my way of life...

人心难测

这是我第一次用华语来写部落格。 最近的心情有点反复无常， 在经历过一些事以后， 发现到人心真的好腐败。原已对人心不再有任何的期望, 看着那虚伪的表面. 我已感到了一股厌恶感. 

人就是那么的虚伪, 一切的承若都只是虚谈, 一切的言语只是谎言. 

何人值我信也, 何人该我信唉? 

我还该继续对着这腐败的人心抱有希望吗? 

Leaving of another friend...Yeerick...take care...

I hate this feeling...the feeling of leaving....but since thats life...we must hav face it......hope rick will find his enjoyable life over there.....is juz few months....should be fast......

3cm shorter

TODAY!!!!! I went and hav a meassure on my height...because nowadays i seem to be kinda short...and the result!!! DUM DUM DUM DUMMMM!!! 3 cm shorter compare to the last time....OMG weihh.....

人生

人生

我们一出世，就被教导做个好孩子拼命的读书，好了读完书了。大学也毕业了。拼命的做工，赚多多的钱。。。拼命的存钱，买房子，车子，保险不小心找到了老婆，好了，结婚了，钱也用完了再拼命的做工，好了30岁了，开始瓶颈。。。再拼命的读PARTTIME，好了，学位高了。。。 拼命的抚育孩子，好了，孩子读书了。。。拼命的灌输孩子要努力读书。。。。自己拼命的做工。。。学位高了，压力也高了。。。回到家，妻子照顾孩子，不得空理你。。孩子忙着读书，不得空理你。。月头，样样都是钱。孩子和你拿钱。妻子和你拿钱房子和你拿钱保险和你拿钱车子和你拿钱过年了，更加多钱除了以上，母亲和你拿钱红包和你拿钱旅行和你拿钱NIKE，LEVI，PRADA，GUCCI，REEBOK，PADINI。。。和你拿钱海外天也可能和你拿钱40岁，男人危机。。。拼命的工作，保住职位。。。成了大家眼中的势利同事。。。开始害怕失去工作，开始留意年轻同事。。。想读书，钱，没有了，想换工，薪金高，岁数大，难讨新工想尽办法，还是不能爬上经理职位，还被一个年轻人上了位。。 孩子开始读中学了，和你拿更多的钱。父亲节，拿你给的钱，买了你没有用的东西。。。。房子还是和你要钱车子旧了，开始不听话了。。。还是要给钱妻子也是一样和你拿钱，旦绝对没有收条给你看。夫妻要信任好不容易熬过50了，要退休了，无风无浪。。。虽然压力大，新上司意见多多，不要紧。我顶！就要拿功积金咯！但是孩子要出国读书--《 200千！好了，功积金拿完出来了，一大半给了孩子，剩下的给了妻子 还是回到零。。。退休了，不用做？？？不能几十年没有呆在家，忽然和妻子相处。。。妻子看不顺眼丈夫无所事事，命令丈夫开始学做家事，！扫地，抹地，剪草，洗车，样样都要做。。。好了，房子供完了。。。车子也没有什么驾了。。。开始觉得人生很无奈，自己从一个提款机，最后变成了一个佣人。孩子出国回来了，拍了一些照片。。。开始找工了。。。毕业=失业 ， 工难找，最后找到一份只可以养活自己的工作。还是要住在家里。。。吃，交通。去的薪金的一大半。。所以只是意思意思的给RM100给父母做伙食费。。。 3年过去了，孩子好不容易累计的工作经验，薪金高了。。。但是却开始要买辆汽车代步。。。母亲帮助+自己储蓄，给了头期。。。有了汽车，费用也多了。。还是意思意思给RM200作伙食费好不容易的工作开始稳定了，但是却认识了一个女朋友。。。开始了人生计划。。。要买房子了。。。由于车子+女朋友费用太大，还是不能给伙食费太多，而且女朋友说3年计划，全部钱要储蓄。。。2年后，终于买了房子，买了房子，开始要结婚了。。。 我终于有用处了，被叫去提亲。。什么都不可以多说，全部老婆讲。自己讲些客套话就行了。。。摆酒，婚礼，旅行。。。用了一大笔+母亲储蓄+ 我剩下的功积金。我还是回归零，。。。继续的剪草，扫地，做家务。。。结婚了后，孩子很少会来了，忙着自己的家庭。。。偶尔假日才回来看看父母。。。每个月意思意思的给RM200 。孩子自己也困难了。要维持自己的家庭好了，30年前的计划希望能够开始，旅行！！ 大事不妙，媳妇怀孕了，生了个孩子。。。母亲代抚养，因为媳妇孩子都做工本来平静的退休生活又再次起了涟漪。。。每天就要照顾孙子，晚上他哭我就跟着醒，开始学习新的技术，喂奶，包尿片，唱歌，拍手掌。。。孩子每个月意思意思的给多RM300，当着是孙子的伙食费 。。。照顾了5年后，孙子大了，孩子抱回去了，一切回归平静。忽然想起30年前的约定，决定和妻子去旅行。。。。还是去不成了，妻子年级大了，病痛也多了。。。自己的腰骨也常闹别扭。。。医生说要多休息。。。孩子已经抱回孙子，每个月意思意思的给回RM300 伙食费惟有呆在家里看电视。。。。一天早上，妻子看见为什么老头没有起来扫地。。。想去房里骂我，但我已经回到天国去了。。。孩子为我做了后事。。。最后我成了一张照片。人生就是如此讽刺。。。呵呵

30/10/08

I am getting more and more sick on caring for frenz anymore...caring on them only come with making myself in bad mood....from today onwards...i will only care for the ppl that worth my caring...i will be mean to the others.....stop thinking abt ppl that around u....think more for ur self...sometimes it juz need to be more selfish....

today went out and have dinner with didi, ru, ting, yan....some conversation catch some of my attention....ting said abt couple suiciding and saying them take life as a joke and something like that....while she is saying that something come in to my mind..."what u know about life actually? a girl that nvr really suffer b4....how much she knows abt life? Haha...suicide mean stupid? Lmao..."

I am done with our friendship....i wont do anything to save up our relationship...i will juz let it be how the way it should be...u all dun really mean much for me thru....i treat u all as frenz...u all treat me as joke....yeap....thats life......

Interesting words that inspired me....

These day i hav been confuse abt life...what life suppose to be....it is so meaningless...whats the point of living...i really duno abt it....but then today....some words hav inspired me...eventhru it nvr solve my question..but it really inspired me....


"life has no meaning

u r the one who need to create meaning"

said by miss wong wei ru...

yea...its so true...is told by wei ru....i was kinda shocked actually...words like this come from her mouth...really.....ermm....weird?? xD ahahhaa....thx ru....thx for everything u did for me....

Confuse

I am confuse....

Confuse about life,

confuse about love,

confuse about friends,

confuse about myself....


What is the meaning of life towards everyone? I cant find my point of living in this world anymore....i dun believe in reincarnation... Living in a robotic way...work, earn money, work and work and work...till the end of the life...repeating every single thing that u do in ur life....is this what life suppose to be? Everythings is juz a illusion at the end of our life...so? Why are we trying to hard to reach an illusion? What is the point? I really dun get it...

Love? What do love seem to be for u? Love from the partner? Love from the family? Love from the friends? I been being hurt badly in love....there is no trust for me to put on into love anymore...Family? Girl? Everything is juz so much diff frm what it tells...Can't really put in 100% of my trust on things... Or maybe is juz that i expected too much compare to the others? Expectation that only come with dissapointment...

Friends towards me now is so much diff compare to what i tought last time... How long hav a friend call me juz bcuz he/she care how am i doing? I duno...been too long for me to remember i guess...friends only come to me when they need my help....or they are bored, coz no1 is there to accompany them.... I am juz a replacement....

Me? Who am i? What is the purpose of existing in this world? I...don't know....im confuse who shuold i to be... Putting a fake mask everyday and actually annoyed ppl....am i suppose to become back what i really was? I don't know... I am confuse.....the mask i put on is to make ppl around me not to worry about me....and make the ppl around me to be happy....but....it seem to the other way around?

Who Am I?

25/10/2008

Been sleeping kinda late nowadays....really felt damn tired...inside and outside of myself....

Fallen in sleep while im infront of the trafic light when i was on the way to college...kena HONK!! =) the 1st time...haha....

After class went for cs training.....really cant performence at all....abit stress in the game.....=(

At abt 10 something, wei ru call me and ask me out for yam cha....ru, u know how long u nvr called me ad? =P ahahaha.....went yamcha at murni and saw janson, edwin, william they all there...so "ngam" hahaha.....

come back at abt 12 something....on9 for awhile.....receive wei ru's msg at 1 something...which asked me am i home ad?

Thx Ru....thx for the caring.....thx that letting me know in this world there is still someone who willing to care for me.....ur carring had warm up my heart....=)

where am i belong to?

Where am i belong to? Cc frenz, working frenz, secondary school frenz, college frenz...?? I cant really find my belong....everyone seem to hav their own group...and im juz a passager to everyone....come in and out.....

Where am i belong to? I am confuse....knowing too many frenz is not really a good things i guess...when the time I really need someone....and there wont b anyone that is close enough to spare me the love.....haha.....i guess i will juz be a loner.....

Alone and stop expecting anything from anyone....

22/10/08

Dun really wanna post anything...but then...this is the 1st time that i post a blog in the class...xD haha...ntg much....lalalala

20/8/2008

I felt very lonely these days...coz frenz around me started to couple and couple....holding each other hand, hugging and kissing each other....

For that, i hav been being very desperate into love in these few days....and now im glad that to say....im no longer desperate...=) But still...i feel the lonelyness in my heart....juz so hard to find someone to lay on....

Friends dont really seem to be like what it used to be...i seem to be like nothing toward my friends....is it because of i do not stick to a group? Or juz bcuz of my attitude? I dun really know...it juz seem like my exist is nothing towards this world...

17/10/08

Being more and more lonely nowadays...

hav been taking part in Wgt, going for some training....homework and assignment started to b more and more....time really consume out alot....

Frenz seem to be more and more far compare to the last time.... I seem to be nothing......nothing really matter in the world.....

Whats the meaning of fren? I started to confuse abt this word.....frenz....friend? No one would really care about me.....is this suppose to be happen when u got alot of friends? Or....juz the quality of frenz had changed?

Human are juz a puppet of Life....puppet......

WGT im coming!

Decided to join WGT this year....i know is not a right choice...going for the 6th week ad but still wanna go for WGT....i really think god will spawn time to me...hahaha....but....nvm la......juz follow what my heart tell me to do.


WGT!!! I AM COMING!!!!

Training, drawing, homework, assignment, exam....etc etc......HonWai....u think u r God ar? u r G...but not God....=______=

.........

Nowadays cant really control my emotional anymore....sickness become worse and worse...duno how long can i stand it....the feeling of death is so real again....


Who am i? The sentence that keep repeating in my head....

I wish.....everything can just go back to what it was....

I wish.....i dun grow up..........

I wish......i dun hav a brain.......

Nothing will be coming on what i wished for.....this is what life is.....

I am just nothing......the feel of death is juz so strong...again.....no1 is beside me to support.....i am all alone again.......things that on the surface is juz so unreal.....everythings are lies....what should i believe on....? Who should i believe on?

Annoying me?

ㄚａｎ【6 + 12 + 1990 = 2008 】[Peter Pan Syndrome]
not in the mood to chat with u
not busy

- HonWai -
=.=
y?
angry at me ar?

ㄚａｎ【6 + 12 + 1990 = 2008 】[Peter Pan Syndrome]
duno

- HonWai -
=_____=

ㄚａｎ【6 + 12 + 1990 = 2008 】[Peter Pan Syndrome]
no

- HonWai -
wat did i do?
T_______T

ㄚａｎ【6 + 12 + 1990 = 2008 】[Peter Pan Syndrome]
nth

- HonWai -
nth den dun feel like toking to me
sob sob...
i so inocent...
T____T

ㄚａｎ【6 + 12 + 1990 = 2008 】[Peter Pan Syndrome]
the way u tok
very annoying
to tell the truth onie




Am i really that annoying?

Again?

Really getting more and more confuse nowadays....am i in love again? I am not really sure abt my feelings....cant really handle it anymore....bcome more and more difficult to handle my emotional nowadays....

Knowing that loving her is something that i shouldn't.....but? Am i really in love with her? I really cant tell.....

FUCKTARD DAY!

Overnight at vincent's house, wake up early in the morning...left hand fucking pain....got class today, force to drive back home....fucking hard to change the gear....

Reached home...hand situation getting worse...decided not to go to the class and hav a rest in the house....After taking the painkiller and the rest, hand feeling much more better....

Planed last week ago that today suppose to go out with Wei Ru, so i sms her and ask her what time should i go and pick her up... She replied at abt 12pm, telling me that she needs to help her mum to do something 1st, will let me know when she is free...

Damn hungry....coz not yet even taken my breakfast....wanted to wait for wei ru and hav the meal with her...wait and wait and wait.....cannot stand it anymore....So i decided to go out and c wat movie is nice to watch.....went to 1u walked around....got idea of wat movie to watch ad...wei ru still not ready.....so...i went to blitzone and wait for her call....


At 3.30 wei ru msg me...telling me that li theng asked her to go out....GOOD!!! mean i kena ffk!!! and drag the time till abt 4pm....which i confirmed that i kena ffk ad....i drive back home...BUT!!! the fucktard car got something wrong....will auto turn off suddenly....Woohooo!!! Almost get my self killed by a MyV.....

After the turning off and on ride....a miracle that i reached my home safely.....CB FUCKTARD DAY!!! ZzZZzzZzzzZzzz.......

What if i die?

Juz wondering...what if i die? I mean....a sudden death.....

What will the ppl that around me feel?

Sad? Happy? Shock?



People might juz get sad for a moment of their life....juz as i know.....not many of my frenz there is really willing to care abt me. Mayb i got alot of frenz...but frenz that really care abt me......haha....really damn little.........and even if they care, i dun think the feeling will last that long also....juz mayb.....few more months later, Ohh....honwai is dead.....and thats all......i guess.......Haha.............How sad my life is........Actually wats the point of living anyways? i hav lost mine.......

Haihz.....

nowadays feeling very moody...dun really know why...but 1 of the main reason is bcuz my figure drawing skill deprove too much ad....HAIHZ....


People around seem to be more busy and less caring for the friend around....everyone starting to couple ad....juz feel so lonely....all alone in the dark....i think my sickness is getting worse now.....really think too much.....kinda hard to find my true smile when im alone..........

Haihz....EMO!!! emo for no reason.........haihz.......................im so..........alone................

Who am i?

feeling kinda weird nowadays... maybe is bcuz of the frenz around me all started to couple ad....feeling kinda lonely now.....

Haihz....juz so hard to find someone to love.......

18/9/2008

Today is the last day of my 18th... realise that i had changed alot during this 18 years....



From a small little kid to a teenage...



18 years....counted as a long time....



My life started to begin when the time i stepped in Chong Hwa Highschool. Days there really make me enjoy alot.... But i didnt know how to appreciate things that around me, i had failed her... i had failed my frenz there....



Being a person that everyone envy on...having a fast learner brain that help me alot. Everyday fighting around and yet can get a good result...being the top one in the scout....having a girl that everyone wanted to hav...what else life could b better than this? But i juz ignore the care that she gave, putting my affort into something that i shouldn't.





Shifted school after 1 year of studying in Chong Hwa...went into S.m.k.d.u. Knowing alot of frenz frm the school....not really gaining any knowledge frm the school..... wasted 5 years of my life there lepak-ing, ponteng around.... Only know how to play play play....



Everseen form 5, my mindset started to change...started to notice....i should be serious on my life now. But still cant manage to get the result that i expect in SPM...nah...is juz a 2 month study...and SPM not really that important tru...





After graduated in SMKDU, went to a stoning life for 2 months... few of the frenz had fly out frm msia and continue their study oversea. Went to Canada for a month in march, gain alot from the trip and enjoy alot there.... After the canada trip, came back msia and had a waiter job in "wongkok" restuarant. Work for a month and start my course in T.O.A.



By here, i would like to thx some of my fren,

Chia ming - Really duno how to say abt u....but....thanks alot...my best buddy.....thx for being there...

Wei ru - Thanks for being there when it is the hardest time for me to walk tru. Ur support and caring mean alot to me... Thanks wei ru....

Faye- Thanks faye....for listening my old granma story and all ur caring....=)

Qian- Thanks for ur concern and caring...really appreciate it..

Janson- Thanks for giving me a place to sleep when i am alone....

The leaving of a Hawk....

Today, the legend of blitzone had left us..... Night Hawk.....had leave us and fly to his dream.......Aiya duno wat la.....

hawk had went to Aus today!!!! Who else is going to teach me in cs next time???? Haihz.....Take care la dude....all the best to u......=)

17/9/08

A super funny day.... Haha...went to sing k with college frenz and lecturer- Gavin, Leonard, Chun How, Yen, Miki, Howe, Rulz, Zhi Ling, Kar Leong and Mr.Chong Sern. At about 11.50 Gavin came my house and fetch me..* thank gavin~~~*

Supposingly we are meeting up at 12. But...u know....malaysian....=) Went to redbox after all of us meet up. Sing alot....but the best part was...Leo's "owh...u touch my talala~~~~owhh...my ding ding dong....." Hahahaha......really very clasic! Hahaha.....=D

After that went mc d and chill out there, and after mc d then went yum cha....at Mc d also...=.= in ss2. With Kah Yan, Leonard, Ryan....laugh till non stop.....Lol.....a very enjoyable day i should called it...=)

15/9/2008

Juz refresh back some old video made by Yeerick...Seeing back all the old days pics... think alot while seeing it...feel alot while seeing it.....


Times goes by, things cant be stay.....

Many things had changed, but still......

We are friends.....


Actaully im suppose to finish up my essay right now. But...being kind moody right now....dun really hav the mood to do anything....TODAY IS LI THENG's Birthday~~~ =) hehe...was really boring abt the party of theng on saturday... Felt so left out...and weird....bad organization i suppose... Haha......

After theng's party, i went for Op's bday party. Was so freaking funny there....haha many things happened.....Is so fun till i duno how to state out all the fun times....=D hahaha......kabale kena raped!!! xD Xeno Last man tower!!! Everyone kena gangbang!!! What a nice teamwork??!?! =) Haha...thats all for today then....=)

叶子的离去。。。 是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留？

A very meaningful word to me....



Really....



叶子的离去。。。 是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留？

Thanks....

Hi Wai, You still havent let me know what was bothering you. What normal things? ie Dad still putting you down or he touched you? If he ever lay hands on you again, please let me know. Dont worry I wont make a big screen but would advise you. Or was it financial problem ie Mum finding it hard to support you? Or she is nagging you again? Wai, you might not see it now but trust me. Majority of our parents' nagging are most of the time meant well i.e which they think they were right all the time. Of course they are not always right, they just want whats best for their children, according to them. So, we, as children are concerned have to listen and do what they want us to do. Of course, we dont always do what they said and thats how problems start. So, I suggest with your case is concerned, just listen to them (esp your Mum) and analyse the situation properly, perhaps have a second opinion with a mature friend/friend's parent or better still a lecturer/teacher who can give you good advise and then make up your mind before you disagree with your parents. Wai, its always good to talk. You got to learn to relax and dont let your short-temper manipulate your patient. Have your Mum sit down with you when both of you are relax and talk to her, explain the situation to her and make her understand, always compromise and perhaps meet in the middle in order to solve the problem. It is good to get a part time job to help out the shortage of money, of course you must make sure it wouldnt interfere with your studies. How is your course doing? Is it the same course you were telling me about last time we talked. Just be patient and I am sure what you are studing now would pay off one day. Wai, keep writing to me always. Doesnt matter what it is, problem or no problem, just talk to me, even girlfriend's problem or sex's (kidding), anything, anything at all. Please take care of yourself and let me know when its the best time to talk to you. Love youxxxxx




Lai Gu, ur concern is very appreciated....thanks alot.....thanks for the caring......while the time no1 really willing to waste their time on me. Thanks....

Haihz..

Am i really that annoying? sorry if i annoyed u, been really upsad nowadays....many things are troubling me...sorry for not concerning abt ur feeling...but, do u need to block me? What really did i do? Haihz....

Fallen in love again?

OMG.... I think i fallen in love again....the only one which i still dare to love....... I DUN WAN TO FALL IN LOVE!!!!! SHIT laa....haihz.....hope the feeling will go away asap....

5/9/2008

Today juz went to college to take my result. WOOooooT!!! All passed...phew~ was kinda scared when i am on the way to the college but then i got all pass!!! ( Shawn fetched me to college with Gavin also ) Haha...

Guess what? My history got A!!! ZOMG!!!! An A!!! It really shocked me, coz i was thinking am i going to fail my history? Haha...

After we took the result we went to Noodle facing Noodle to have our lunch. Miss it so much, so long nvr taste it ad...slurp~~~ hehe....After the lunch then we balik kampung lorr~~~

Went home...do ntg. Went for meetoto for awhile...then went to sleep...juz a nap la....

At night went BLITZONE!!! Went to fetch Yeerick and Man Loke. Saw Boon Keat, Boon Shung, Hock ann, Meow Leong they all in blitzone. WOOOOTTT~~~~ so long nvr come here ad...i miss the old blitzone~~ hahaha...went till 1 a.m like that then i fecth them back and myself also balik kampung...then went meetoto awhile~~~ THATS ALL LA~~

should i really care abt it?

Juz realise wei ru, kah yan, li theng had got into an accident. Was worried abt them, but the replied they give really kinda piss me off...or maybe is juz my attitude that make me piss off...? Ask them what happened..and yet no1 willing to giv me an answer. Kah yan somemore say " Everytime i asked u something u sure ask me to go and ask the Dong Si Yen, now let u feel how annoying is that la..." okay...so i shouldn't care abt u all actually...