Tuesday, November 4, 2008

人生

人生

我们一出世,就被教导做个好孩子拼命的读书,好了读完书了。大学也毕业了。拼命的做工,赚多多的钱。。。拼命的存钱,买房子,车子,保险不小心找到了老婆,好了,结婚了,钱也用完了再拼命的做工,好了30岁了,开始瓶颈。。。再拼命的读PARTTIME,好了,学位高了。。。 拼命的抚育孩子,好了,孩子读书了。。。拼命的灌输孩子要努力读书。。。。自己拼命的做工。。。学位高了,压力也高了。。。回到家,妻子照顾孩子,不得空理你。。孩子忙着读书,不得空理你。。月头,样样都是钱。孩子和你拿钱。妻子和你拿钱房子和你拿钱保险和你拿钱车子和你拿钱过年了,更加多钱除了以上,母亲和你拿钱红包和你拿钱旅行和你拿钱NIKE,LEVI,PRADA,GUCCI,REEBOK,PADINI。。。和你拿钱海外天也可能和你拿钱40岁,男人危机。。。拼命的工作,保住职位。。。成了大家眼中的势利同事。。。开始害怕失去工作,开始留意年轻同事。。。想读书,钱,没有了,想换工,薪金高,岁数大,难讨新工想尽办法,还是不能爬上经理职位,还被一个年轻人上了位。。 孩子开始读中学了,和你拿更多的钱。父亲节,拿你给的钱,买了你没有用的东西。。。。房子还是和你要钱车子旧了,开始不听话了。。。还是要给钱妻子也是一样和你拿钱,旦绝对没有收条给你看。夫妻要信任好不容易熬过50了,要退休了,无风无浪。。。虽然压力大,新上司意见多多,不要紧。我顶!就要拿功积金咯!但是孩子要出国读书--《 200千!好了,功积金拿完出来了,一大半给了孩子,剩下的给了妻子 还是回到零。。。退休了,不用做???不能几十年没有呆在家,忽然和妻子相处。。。妻子看不顺眼丈夫无所事事,命令丈夫开始学做家事,!扫地,抹地,剪草,洗车,样样都要做。。。好了,房子供完了。。。车子也没有什么驾了。。。开始觉得人生很无奈,自己从一个提款机,最后变成了一个佣人。孩子出国回来了,拍了一些照片。。。开始找工了。。。毕业=失业 , 工难找,最后找到一份只可以养活自己的工作。还是要住在家里。。。吃,交通。去的薪金的一大半。。所以只是意思意思的给RM100给父母做伙食费。。。 3年过去了,孩子好不容易累计的工作经验,薪金高了。。。但是却开始要买辆汽车代步。。。母亲帮助+自己储蓄,给了头期。。。有了汽车,费用也多了。。还是意思意思给RM200作伙食费好不容易的工作开始稳定了,但是却认识了一个女朋友。。。开始了人生计划。。。要买房子了。。。由于车子+女朋友费用太大,还是不能给伙食费太多,而且女朋友说3年计划,全部钱要储蓄。。。2年后,终于买了房子,买了房子,开始要结婚了。。。 我终于有用处了,被叫去提亲。。什么都不可以多说,全部老婆讲。自己讲些客套话就行了。。。摆酒,婚礼,旅行。。。用了一大笔+母亲储蓄+ 我剩下的功积金。我还是回归零,。。。继续的剪草,扫地,做家务。。。结婚了后,孩子很少会来了,忙着自己的家庭。。。偶尔假日才回来看看父母。。。每个月意思意思的给RM200 。孩子自己也困难了。要维持自己的家庭好了,30年前的计划希望能够开始,旅行!! 大事不妙,媳妇怀孕了,生了个孩子。。。母亲代抚养,因为媳妇孩子都做工本来平静的退休生活又再次起了涟漪。。。每天就要照顾孙子,晚上他哭我就跟着醒,开始学习新的技术,喂奶,包尿片,唱歌,拍手掌。。。孩子每个月意思意思的给多RM300,当着是孙子的伙食费 。。。照顾了5年后,孙子大了,孩子抱回去了,一切回归平静。忽然想起30年前的约定,决定和妻子去旅行。。。。还是去不成了,妻子年级大了,病痛也多了。。。自己的腰骨也常闹别扭。。。医生说要多休息。。。孩子已经抱回孙子,每个月意思意思的给回RM300 伙食费惟有呆在家里看电视。。。。一天早上,妻子看见为什么老头没有起来扫地。。。想去房里骂我,但我已经回到天国去了。。。孩子为我做了后事。。。最后我成了一张照片。人生就是如此讽刺。。。呵呵

Thursday, October 30, 2008

30/10/08

I am getting more and more sick on caring for frenz anymore...caring on them only come with making myself in bad mood....from today onwards...i will only care for the ppl that worth my caring...i will be mean to the others.....stop thinking abt ppl that around u....think more for ur self...sometimes it juz need to be more selfish....

today went out and have dinner with didi, ru, ting, yan....some conversation catch some of my attention....ting said abt couple suiciding and saying them take life as a joke and something like that....while she is saying that something come in to my mind..."what u know about life actually? a girl that nvr really suffer b4....how much she knows abt life? Haha...suicide mean stupid? Lmao..."

I am done with our friendship....i wont do anything to save up our relationship...i will juz let it be how the way it should be...u all dun really mean much for me thru....i treat u all as frenz...u all treat me as joke....yeap....thats life......

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Interesting words that inspired me....

These day i hav been confuse abt life...what life suppose to be....it is so meaningless...whats the point of living...i really duno abt it....but then today....some words hav inspired me...eventhru it nvr solve my question..but it really inspired me....


"life has no meaning

u r the one who need to create meaning"

said by miss wong wei ru...

yea...its so true...is told by wei ru....i was kinda shocked actually...words like this come from her mouth...really.....ermm....weird?? xD ahahhaa....thx ru....thx for everything u did for me....

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Confuse

I am confuse....

Confuse about life,

confuse about love,

confuse about friends,

confuse about myself....


What is the meaning of life towards everyone? I cant find my point of living in this world anymore....i dun believe in reincarnation... Living in a robotic way...work, earn money, work and work and work...till the end of the life...repeating every single thing that u do in ur life....is this what life suppose to be? Everythings is juz a illusion at the end of our life...so? Why are we trying to hard to reach an illusion? What is the point? I really dun get it...

Love? What do love seem to be for u? Love from the partner? Love from the family? Love from the friends? I been being hurt badly in love....there is no trust for me to put on into love anymore...Family? Girl? Everything is juz so much diff frm what it tells...Can't really put in 100% of my trust on things... Or maybe is juz that i expected too much compare to the others? Expectation that only come with dissapointment...

Friends towards me now is so much diff compare to what i tought last time... How long hav a friend call me juz bcuz he/she care how am i doing? I duno...been too long for me to remember i guess...friends only come to me when they need my help....or they are bored, coz no1 is there to accompany them.... I am juz a replacement....

Me? Who am i? What is the purpose of existing in this world? I...don't know....im confuse who shuold i to be... Putting a fake mask everyday and actually annoyed ppl....am i suppose to become back what i really was? I don't know... I am confuse.....the mask i put on is to make ppl around me not to worry about me....and make the ppl around me to be happy....but....it seem to the other way around?

Who Am I?

Friday, October 24, 2008

25/10/2008

Been sleeping kinda late nowadays....really felt damn tired...inside and outside of myself....

Fallen in sleep while im infront of the trafic light when i was on the way to college...kena HONK!! =) the 1st time...haha....

After class went for cs training.....really cant performence at all....abit stress in the game.....=(

At abt 10 something, wei ru call me and ask me out for yam cha....ru, u know how long u nvr called me ad? =P ahahaha.....went yamcha at murni and saw janson, edwin, william they all there...so "ngam" hahaha.....

come back at abt 12 something....on9 for awhile.....receive wei ru's msg at 1 something...which asked me am i home ad?

Thx Ru....thx for the caring.....thx that letting me know in this world there is still someone who willing to care for me.....ur carring had warm up my heart....=)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

where am i belong to?

Where am i belong to? Cc frenz, working frenz, secondary school frenz, college frenz...?? I cant really find my belong....everyone seem to hav their own group...and im juz a passager to everyone....come in and out.....

Where am i belong to? I am confuse....knowing too many frenz is not really a good things i guess...when the time I really need someone....and there wont b anyone that is close enough to spare me the love.....haha.....i guess i will juz be a loner.....

Alone and stop expecting anything from anyone....

22/10/08

Dun really wanna post anything...but then...this is the 1st time that i post a blog in the class...xD haha...ntg much....lalalala